I decided to write this post today as I was standing in a ridiculously long line for Chipotle. Luckily, they hooked me up so the line was worth it.
Chipotle has a very special place in my heart. It consistently brings me joy and a full belly. Anyways here's the history:
My first Chipotle order as a young, unsophisticated woman was simple and bland. I typically requested a veggie bowl with white rice, black beans, mild salsa, corn salsa, cheese, and lettuce. I NEVER got a burrito because the tortilla alone is 300 calories. Also one time I did try a burrito and it was so weird.. half of it was warm and the other half was cold and nothing was mixed up. It was all wrong. I had a brief thought that maybe I could ask them to mix the ingredients up before they wrapped the burrito but let's be honest, they usually aren't rocket scientists and a bowl lets me mix my food to my own satisfaction.
My second Chipotle order started as a sophomore in college. I was working at DuBois Bookstore at University of Cincinnati and to my great pleasure we shared a parking lot with a Chipotle... I went almost EVERYDAY I worked. To the point that my food became free - best and worst days of my life but that’s a whole other story. At this point, I was really strict about my diet and trying to be a skinny-mini so I just got a cheese quesadilla with a side of the green salsa and sour cream. Also up until this point in my life, I had convinced myself that I wouldn’t like sour cream.. I had a weird thing about eating things that were white (that also included mayo and ranch). Well I was really stupid because sour cream is AMAZING. I would eat it with a spoon if it was socially acceptable (like only a few bites but still I would).
It didn’t take long before I started eating like a normal human being again and went back to my burrito bowl order. However, this time around I would get a side of three soft flour taco shells) and obviously sour cream. The taco shells were a huge revelation. I always felt that if you just ordered the tacos you would get less food but if I get a bowl and make my own tacos, I ALWAYS have leftovers - which I typically eat for breakfast the next day, it’s amazing you should try it. I also started getting brown rice instead of white rice because come on, I was like 21 or something - Adulting for sure.
As time went on, I began to itch for another change in my order. I just wanted to feel like I was getting my money’s worth. I also developed a love for spicy food. Somewhere between my sophomore and junior year of college my tastebuds changed which was really cool. It affected a lot more than my chipotle order but that’s beside the point. I decided that I wanted to get ALL FOUR salsas in my bowl and OMG.. if you’re not doing this already I highly recommend it. So many flavors and mind-numbing satisfaction. Wow! I’ve never been the same. However, sometimes the server people will give you like 1/4 of the normal salsa serving for each of the salsas and you end up with like 2 drops of the green salsa, 1 drop of the red salsa and a fuck ton of tomatoes. They don't get that all four salsas means you actually want to be able to TASTE all four of the salsas.. so you just need to ask nicely for more or roll your eyes and hope that next time will be better (I usually do the second of course).
Sometime afterward, I got into the vinaigrette. This was a cool phase because of course the vinaigrette is amazing but it didn’t last long. Side note, I just learned the proper way to spell vinaigrette.. what a cool word. This phase didn't last very long because my stupid ex made a comment about how it wasn't that great and subliminally changed my mind into thinking it wasn't worth getting. I'm gonna have to start getting that delicious vinaigrette again - revelation.
In 2014, Chipotle started serving sofritas but it took me awhile to add this into my order. They were all covered in seasoning and I felt like it made the sour cream taste less fresh if they mixed. It just weirded me out but eventually, I sucked it up and started ordering sofritas so I had some attempt at protein added into my diet.
In Milwaukee, WI I tried the queso for the first and ONLY time. Like what the hell... they really dropped the ball on that one. I was really counting on them too. I love queso; I would seriously consider bathing in queso one time - but NEVER the Chipotle queso. It has the absolute strangest texture and weird powdery taste. BLECH! So god awful. I really hope the consider changing that in a few years.
I must say that nothing pairs better with the perfect Chipotle bowl than a Grapefruit Izze. It not only has 2.5 servings of fruit, but also the perfect, light fizziness everyone needs with a taco. And don't forget, chipotle only tastes perfect when you eat it with a black, plastic chipotle fork - eating chipotle with a metal fork is just weird and gross.
In conclusion, my current Chipotle order includes: A sofrita bowl, 3 soft taco shells on the side, brown rice, black beans, sofritas - obviously, ALL FOUR salsas, sour cream (sometime I even get bold and ask for more), cheese, and lettuce.
Bonus tip: if you're ever in a relationship and get Chipotle without getting your significant other Chipotle - NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE, you are a horrible human being and deserve to be dumped. And when I say no matter what the circumstance, I don't care if they are on vacation for a week, get a gift card or something. This is the betrayal beyond all betrayals. Don't do it!
Bonus tip 2: Any hour of any day of any year I will be happy if you bring me Chipotle ♥
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